Alright, I don’t have a cute intro... we gotta hop right in here. *exhales*
Ya’ll wanna know one of the key tools the enemy uses against us? Isolation.
When you’re alone, first, your mind is going 3 miles a minute. You become anxious, you overthink, you may even begin catastrophizing a situation that is nowhere near as bad as what you’re making it out to be. You’ve come up with about 8 different scenarios of how life will play out, your emotions are overtaking you, and you lose the ability to think clearly.
All because, you’re cooped up in your little hole with just your thoughts.
I told you in my last blog that a good part of my healing was connected to me opening my mouth and releasing what was in my heart.
In the last few weeks, with all the very verryyyy fast transitions, twists and turns in my life, I’ve found myself wanting to be alone, while also needing a hug.
I wanted to cry and scream in the privacy of my solitude, while also wanting someone to wipe my tears and pray when I was done.
I wanted to journal and pray on a solo vacation, while also wanting some one to pick me up to get out of the house.
Ever been there?
I knew I needed community as a part of my healing journey, but there’s this underlying, “Nobody cares” or “Nobody can handle all of that”, that sometimes arrests us into silence.
We mute ourselves to avoid the possibility of rejection, to avoid the feeling of being a burden, and to go into autopilot as if the “things” are not really happening. I’m here to tell you, Sugga, they are happening, in real time, and you need a safe friend to walk this out with you.
I have been blessed with such a beautiful, supportive village and I thank God daily for showing His love for me through them. However, even knowing how amazingly supportive they are of me, I still find myself in a place of silence when it comes to dealing with my own things.
But how are they supposed to know what you need if you don’t say something? How are they supposed to know you need a hug, if you don’t express you need affection? How are they supposed to check on you, if they don’t know you need somebody to check in?
The other week, when I completed the unthinkable, unimaginable task (Lord hammercy), I told you guys that afterwhile I copy and pasted a text to about 5 friends. The text said, “So, I.... (inserts the
unthinkable), I’m quite numb, and I don’t really want to talk. But if I cross your mind, and you have capacity, just pray…”, and I ended the message with “I love you”.
You know what happened? Each of them responded within 30-45 minutes, to be present, but over the next week and a half, every single one of them checked on me at some point. Every single one. They didn’t push me, they weren’t overwhelming, they just held space for me to feel, if I needed to. But
again, they wouldn’t have had any idea that I needed somebody to be there if I would’ve just isolated.
For some reason we think we’re doing people, and ourselves a favor by being the “strong friend”. I’m here to tell you beloved, you will quite literally lose your mind if you don’t get to safety, and I mean fast.
There are people assigned to walk with you through the darkest times in your life, and they’re equipped to help you carry this, equipped to help you heal, and they won’t rush you through your process.
We’re going to be healing in waves, remember? Give yourself grace.
*exhales in violent tongues*
I love you.
Talk soon,
Racq