I…
I just want to know who’s going to play me in the “made for tv” movie. I really, really do.
This first quarter of 2025 has had me staring at the wall in silence like, WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!
Chile, we forgot to breathe first, my bad… *exhales*
Alright.
Can I tell ya’ll how the Lord smacked my lip back into my ear the other day? (Yeah, go ahead and picture it… use your imagination)
So, I had been ra-ra-ing (venting excessively) about a situation, that really weighed on my mind and emotions. I mean going offfff. Unfortunately, I had an audience, a safe one, but an audience nonetheless and it was my time to shine. Or so I thought.
I felt justified, seen, and heard… for a moment. Afterwhile, there was this pit in my stomach, and I said… “Oooooh, I’m in trouble”. Baby, I tried going to sleep and this overwhelming sense of, “Now was that really necessary” wouldn’t let me go.
See, though my feelings were valid I was only seeing things from my very filtered perspective. My viewpoint had trauma, hurt, unforgiveness, you name it, mixed into it. So, I couldn’t see anything in the proper way, and my discernment was replaced by emotion.
*Wild Behavior*
The problem was I assumed things were one way, again because of my distorted vision, when in fact it was quite literally the opposite. And at no point had I asked God, "How should I pray in this moment?"
Whew Baby, I went into repentance so fast.
‘Cause I just felt like the Lord had His arms folded, headed tilted, and looking at me like, “Now are you done??!”.
I was so shamed.
I'd been throwing a full out temper tantrum, and drumming up scenarios with my very vast imagination… for what?
I was loud, wrong, and immature even in my “justified” emotion.
Just like that, I realized there was yet another layer of healing that was about to be pulled back.
UGH. These waves of ghetto-ness.
*throws another temper tantrum*
You know what I learned? I don’t have the luxury of speaking on things I don’t know about. Especially if I have limited information. Because while I’m in the middle of my ra-ra episode, the Lord could quite literally be rearranging the story. But when I open my mouth, I have the potential to negate
what He wants to do. Ain’t that tragic?
Imagine God preparing to give you the scholarship you want, the clients you need, or send a surprise financial blessing to your doorstep. And RIGHT BEFORE the angels are about to deliver your package, you say, “I’m never going to get it!”, “Nobody will work with me”, or “I’m always broke”.
What if the ending of the chapter really is "happily ever after"? What if the Lord has something so special waiting on you, when you get past this hump? But you won't stop talking long enough to let Him step in, and help.
Beloved, life and death is quite literally in your mouth. You can’t just say any and everything, especially with a nasty heart. You better take it to the altar and leave it there so you can heal. BTW, you don't have a whole lot of time to do it.
But don't mind me...
Talk soon,
Racq